‘These are the rules that apply to every man’s life…’

Some of my favourite Rules as described by the Esquire’s, A Man’s Guide to Life:

394 – Sinatra is never wrong

43 – For the last time, no goddamn Speedos

392 – When in doubt pick C

498 – A man can never own too many pairs of socks

210 – Executives don’t need presents

302 – The correct description for any photograph of someone else’s baby is “adorable.” Have this word ready to go before the photograph is shown…so you can utter “adorable” without hesitation.

249 – The is nothing good about berets

1 – In an argument between two men, the one chewing a cigar naturally has the upper hand

196 – No woman over the age of 17 has ever been thrilled by the gift of carnations

95 – People who live inland are fatter than those who live in coastal areas

413 – A gentleman never considers sexual activity until the dog has been sent to another room

96 – The Wall Street Journal is the proper newspaper for the steam room

83 – The last slice of pie is the tastiest

500 – Women whose names end with the letter “i” are more promiscuous

78 – A man whose belt is fastened on the last hole is a desparate and resourceless-looking man

607 – Money may not buy happiness but it’s a hefty down payment

668 – Relax. Enjoy yourself. Have a good time

“These are the rules that apply to every man’s life. They have stood the test of time and have been bound between the covers of a book by Esquire. They are, therefore, true. The rules have been revised and updated – because being a man has gotton that much harder.”